Someday we'll have what we wanted...

It’s been a tough couple of weeks but now that midterms are over I can finally breathe a little, school wise anyway. Even though I have that out of my way I still can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed, not just because of school but other things as well.

I have come to realize a few years ago that things don’t always go our way and over the past few months I have noticed just how much that is true. Life isn’t always fair and people aren’t always who you think they are. Sometimes the ones you think the world of, the ones who you can tell anything to and feel better afterwards are the ones waiting with the knife in hand. They say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, the problem with that is nowadays you can’t tell who’s who.  What about “family first”? From what I noticed some have been choosing their “friends” over their family, what is that supposed to mean?

 I have been talked about the majority of my life, which is not something to brag about trust me. People have the tendency to say “I love my haters”, “Haters make me famous”, or “My haters keep me going” but the truth is, no one actually loves their said “haters”. And no, I am sorry but haters do not keep you going. If anything haters have you feeling like crap each and every day wondering why it’s you going through this. Why you are the one being bullied and why can’t you find anyone to trust, am I right?

I’ve been through it all, I have people talk crap about me to my face in high school (not so much now), talk about me behind my back (still going on), had my campaigning posters torn down, have had fake Facebook profiles made of me (two to be exact), and now I feel at a loss for words. I stopped caring about what people had to say about me a long time ago and for some reason, I feel like I started again.

Most people don’t give a shit about you or your problems and the ones who claim they do are only nice to you so they can tell everyone else your problems and maybe exaggerate a little. And as you grow older you realize that it starts to happen more and more frequently, even if you leave your hometown. Now I don’t quite understand why they feel the need to do so or why you are the one being bullied but what I do know is that you are a strong beautiful/ handsome individual and shouldn’t let anyone define you as something you’re not, even if the one who is bullying you is you.
From experience I have noticed that no one can be your own worst enemy except yourself. No one can hurt you more than yourself because you’re the only one who knows your own weaknesses. But if there is anything I learned from it all, it is that things get better. Once you feel that you have hit rock bottom and feel stuck, just smile because there is only one way to go from there. I suppose I should take a sip of my own medicine, right? But in the end when you feel like there is nowhere to go and no one to talk to just remember that I am here, just wish I had someone to turn to beside my computer, music and books. I don't write this for sympathy, so don't give it to me. I write this to show people that we all have the same problems and while you're going through it, know you aren't alone. Someday it will all get better, til then goodnight.

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life, it goes on.” 

–Robert Frost

xoxo,
alicia.

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