Sigh, sometimes I hate school...

Sometimes I just want to quit everything, including school. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by it all because I have to stay up later than I want to or read something that does not hold my interest. But I shouldn’t, I keep telling myself that it would be worth it in the long run. That in a couple of years things will be better because I won’t have the worries of turning in a paper on time or failing a quiz that may or may not slaughter my gpa.
But it’s hard and frustrating every now and then because I feel as if I am never getting anything done, no matter how much work I complete and turn in I feel like I am getting nowhere. Sure I have great grades but the worry of one bad assignment dropping that grade in a heartbeat leaves my mind uneasy. I wish I wouldn’t care so much about these things, but truth be told I have always been this way. However it is not exactly a way I want to be, especially at this moment.

I seriously feel like crying right now. Maybe it’s because I am weak or maybe it’s because I am not as smart as I think I am. I feel extremely stressed which makes me feel like quite the failure because I am allowing things to build up inside. I know because of the past that I should not hold things in anymore because it’s bad but I feel that it is not doing any good letting my feelings and frustrations and tears out. Usually I would not write when I am feeling this way, no I would usually bottle it up till it all becomes too much too handle. Conversely, I am trying to turn the leaf.

I have 5 pages left and a quiz due by midnight and look what I am doing. Sigh wish me luck.

xoxo,
alicia.