Loneliness is a bitter pill to swallow...

5 months ago I let stress and frustration take over and get the best of me and for that I sit where I sit now.

As I look back 5 months into the past I realize how I never pictured myself ever being in this position again though here I am wishing I wasn’t. I am going to be honest with you, I don’t want sympathy. No, what I do want is to move on and start anew. However my dear friends, that is only wishful thinking.

I know there has been stuff said about myself but let me ask you a question, do you think I care what people have to say? And more than likely you’re answer will be yes, am I right? Though unfortunately for you, the correct answer is no. Now if you would have asked that question back in high school then yeah maybe you would have been right. Anyway back to the topic I started with; while traveling on this course I noticed that people have had the tendency to say “suck it up”, “move the hell on already”, “it’s not the end of the world” or “you’re young, get over it”. Sure, you’re world may not be over since you’re doing fine and dandy but think of others for once and get your head out of your ass. Just because your life may seem perfect at the moment there could be someone suffering from a massive heartbreak and while it may not be as big someone grieving over a death, it is big to them.

Life battles come in different forms, there are the little ones like failing a test and then there are the big ones like losing a loved one. But to be perfectly honest with you, there is no such thing as a small battle. Everyone suffers at one point and time, everyone has that moment where they feel like everything that they have worked so hard to keep safe has fallen and broke to pieces. What are you supposed to do when someone you know, whether it’s a good friend or a mere acquaintance, is suffering on the inside? From what I noticed usually people shake their heads, log onto facebook, and talk crap. But to those people, here is suggestion why don’t you try getting off your high horse and lend a hand instead of kicking them while their down? To this day I fail to see how people can be so cruel but then turn their head to say bullying is wrong; doing one good deed doesn’t give you the right to be a douche bag for the rest of your life.

Though despite it all, no matter how painful this experience has been for me, a part of me is thankful. Thankful because if I never went on this path I would still have people who I thought I could trust in my life. People who claimed they were friends of mine only to stab me in the back numerous times. If there is one thing you learn during this experience, it is who your true friends are. Losing friends are just as hard but keep in mind that if they weren’t willing to be there, are you really losing a friend at all? No probably not. Though you should keep in mind that there are good people out there but when all else fails and you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, I am always here.

-alicia.