“It feels like somebody took my heart
and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears and at the same time, somebody
else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer. And then a
third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone. And I am crying
but nobody can hear me because I am terribly, terribly, terribly alone.”-
Michael Scott, The Office
When asked to describe how one would
feel during a breakup, this quote came to mind. Come to think of it, I don’t
think there is a better way to describe what is going on in your mind other
than what was said in that quote. Break ups are tough, thank you Captain
Obvious, right? It’s hard enough to let someone in your life as it is but to
let them in and watch them choose to leave is even harder. You’ve grown
accustomed to having your life a certain way with this person; you have woken up
to those sweet good morning text messages, shared sweet nothings throughout the
day, the hugs and kisses, those sweet goodnight messages or just the fact that
you were able to share your life with you adored (who adored you back) was
enough.
Now here you are realizing that you will
no longer be starting or ending your day with those sweet messages. Instead you
will wake up and cry for a bit…actually a long bit. You'll cry because maybe
you were dreaming of happier times only to find that it wasn't real once your
eyes open. Chances are you'll cry a few times during random parts of the day
because you’ll see their name somewhere, hear a song or visit/think of a place
that will trigger memories and it will leave you in tears. You don't feel like
that person who is smiling in your memory, you feel lost and broken. Once you're back in bed two things are sure to happen; you'll be glad the day is over but
the waterworks will fall again because you realize that you have to do it all
again tomorrow. Facing the reality of something you don't want is one of the
hardest things you will experience, there are triggers everywhere. You realize
that that person is no longer yours to hold, kiss and share details of your day
with and you're going to want to jump in a hole and hide from the world. You're also going to want to play every single depressing song there is and cry until
you feel like you can't possibly cry anymore.
Friends and family will probably tell
you not to give into those feelings of self remorse. They'll tell you to cheer up, you're better off and that in due time, everything will be okay. They're right
but that won't stop you from wanting to ignore the world and throwing that pity
party.
Well my dear, do it. Throw that party of
pity while listening to every sad song you can find, I’ll save you some time because I'm pretty sure you can find that playlist here (a lot of Taylor Swift & Tegan and Sara).
Watch every sad movie, read every sad book and cry until you feel like you possibly
cannot anymore. You just had your heart broken, whether it was after a year or
a few months, you let someone into your life, let go and allowed yourself to
fall then watched them leave. Why shouldn't you be allowed to mourn the love
lost? Take all the time you need, there is no time limit and don't let anyone
tell you differently. If you read Music Therapy, you may have
heard this before but if you haven’t pay attention.
THIS IS THE COUGH SYRUP OF LOVE
AND LIFE.
Look at it this way, when you're sick with a sore throat you have no
choice but to take cough syrup, no matter how awful it is. You take it and wait
for it to go down in order to feel better in due time. Broken hearts and bad days
are just the cough syrup you need to deal with in order for you realize, hey we
are human; we do bleed, we do feel, we do fall. No matter how awful it is, take
it because once it goes down, in due time you will feel better and everything will be fine.
It’s going to be hard, some mornings you
won’t even want to leave your bed but you're going to have to. People will
judge you at school or work because you made little to no effort in your
appearance. Maybe you opted out on the makeup because you didn't want to ruin
it with tears or maybe your eyes are a little red and puffy and people are
staring but don't pay them no mind, they'll judge you when you're happy too so
flash that smile and show that you're happy. Even if you have to fake it at
first, eventually you’ll start feel it.
If you have great friends, start going out
with them again, or stay in and have a movie night. Go shopping, get coffee, go
for a run or whatever makes you happy. Do whatever it may be and enjoy it! Or
you can do what I do and write. Write a letter to this person about how you
felt and how you feel now, maybe cry a little then seal it, hide it and forget
about it. Feed off these bad vibes and utilize it as inspiration. Tegan and Sara, Taylor Swift and Adele all made their pain someone else's gain, they utilize their pain into success. They showed us that yes, you're in pain but that doesn't mean you have to stop doing what you love. Once you wrap your head around this and start doing things you enjoy, you'll find yourself crying a little
less and smiling a little more, listen to this playlist in the process. Eventually you'll wake to find that the thought of him/her didn't cross your mind once and
get through the day without a single tear. You’ll start to realize that no,
this person is in fact no longer yours but hey, you’re no longer theirs as well
and that’s okay. You’re letting go of what once was and you’re letting go of
the tears and heartache. You’ll come to find that though the healing process
was awful, it made you stronger and you will realize how amazing you truly are.
You overcame a battle that seemed impossible from the beginning and eventually
you will forget how much it hurt and try again. Please remember that you
shouldn’t chase anyone who doesn’t want you though just continue working hard
and being amazing; the people who truly belong in your life will find you.
You’re incredible, you’re brave, you’re
legendary and you deserve nothing but the best and don’t ever let anyone tell
you otherwise. But if all else fails keep in mind that sometimes we have to be
broken down in order to be rebuilt into what we’re actually meant to be. What
that may be, who knows? But I can promise you that it is nothing less than
amazing. When you find that letter you hid, open it and read it and if you don’t
have the urge to cry, rip it up and smile.
Congratulations, you’re now free and
ready for this.
xoxo,
alicia.
P.S.
I was inspired to write this post after reading fellow blogger, Koree's post which can be found here. Check out her blog, it's wonderful! :)
Also, I now have a comment form which can be found to your left, in which allows you to comment without having to have a Blogger profile and will be sent to my email, I've made things a little easier for ya! :)
infinite x's and o's,
alicia.
