Therapeutic Writing on a Bad Day.

You know how people say when you get one piece of bad news it shouldn't affect the rest of your day because your day is what you make of it and if you make it awful then it will be awful but really no one has bad days? Not only was that a run on sentence but it's also not that true.

I think I had/ am having what the definition of a bad day with things happening beyond my control is. I woke up and, as you saw from my previous post, saw that one of my favorite bands are going on an indefinite hiatus. Obviously that shouldn't affect my day and it didn't, I mean it hurt but I was still fine but after that is what I wasn't fine with. I had two quizzes and one assignment due today and lucky for me, I failed both quizzes! Now onto my assignment, it's  been a week and I failed to understand what the heck I am supposed to be doing. I am struggling allot with school right now, I am trying not to let it get to me but sometimes it's hard because most of the people I started NAU with have graduated. I hate that I am the unlucky one who is still in school, busting my butt to make my future better. But sometimes I think about it and I wonder if all this stress, tears and headaches are really worth it. Will I graduate when I am old? What use would my degree be then? Would I even get to have my dream job? Will I even want my dream job by the time I get it? It's stress curve ball after curve ball in this life of mine and sometimes it's just too much to handle.

My head hurts and so do my eyes.

I know most people read this and judge me because I pretty much am putting my life out there for others to read and why should I? For all I know people who hate me are reading this and are laughing at me. To be honest I don't fully understand why I keep doing it ether but sometimes it soothes me.

I guess I have to look at it this way, yes I am still in school, yes school is tough but most of the people I graduated high school with aren't in school because they are now parents. Unlike them I don't have to settle with what my career is, I can bust my butt and get the job I want not the job I need to provide for my family. I should be thankful that my only stress is writing papers, taking quizzes/test and dealing with assignments that I don't fully understand instead of having to deal with a child. Another thing I need to realize is that no matter how behind I think I am, I am still a lot further into my journey for my Bachelor's degree (degrees, I get two) than other people my age. It's time to reinvent myself for me and only me so I need to take a breath, dust my knees off and keep going. Today is just a bad day and the good thing about that is that it ends and tomorrow is something new, next week will be a different assignment and though I might have to work harder to get the grade I want, at least I have the opportunity to do so.

Thank you for listening.

-alicia.