Growing old is getting old.

Have you ever felt so alone and irrelevant in life? Of course you have, everyone has. But have you felt it so much that it hurt to the point of anxiety? I have, in fact I am feeling it right now. I don't understand exactly why I'm feeling this way, I don't know maybe I'm not meant to understand but I'm hurting.

My anxiety is getting worse, it's at the point where I'm getting bad stomach aches and a constant heavy heart. Why though? What exactly do I have to be sad about? I have a roof over my head, a wonderful family who are happy and healthy for the most part, I'm healthy for the most part, I have a job, I'm in school. I don't get it, people who have less than me are fine and perfectly content on what is going on in their lives but I'm just sitting here confused, insecure, stressed and overwhelmed with everything.

I'm confused with the current.
I'm stressed with what's to come.
I'm overwhelmed with time.

I'll be 22 three months from today, is this what growing up is supposed to feel like?

I hope you don't think of me as a pretentious complainer, who just wants attention because I don't and that's not why I'm writing this. Attention is the last thing I want, what I want is a little compassion, love and guidance. Compassion to show me I'm not alone in this, love as in friendship and guidance to help me steer in the right direction.
I don't mean to bore or annoy you, I know I haven't wrote in awhile but I just needed to vent. If you read this and judge me, fine. But if you read this and somehow relate to me, tell me how to overcome this obstacle, I'd greatly appreciate that.


xoxo,
alicia.